last stretch

this week and next are the last two weeks of school! and Im soo excited. I am also soo stressed trying to get everything done... im going to write a reminder schedule down here so i know whats going on in my life and so everyone else can know too :)

due tomorrow.. my presentation comparing south africa and Botswana... and the paper that goes with it

due wednesday.. math test corrections, math sumaries for every section i have done so far ( 7 chapters) and my math make up test that I hve to do. 20 questions that I have to make up and do myself. also I have my human growth and development paper due at 7 pm.

due thursday.. the presentation if I do not go tomorrow and I have my final test in human sexuality..

Friday,,, my math test! YIKES

saturday and sunday I finally have a day off! actually take that back I have to work for my aunt saturday morning :(

next wednesday I have my human growth and development final and I have to get a 90 percent to pass with a D. so Im not doin to hott in that class. oh well then

friday is my math final! along with my doctor appt to see how my knee is doing! so we will see how this week and a half goes.. after that I AM DONE! and i cant wait!!

WISH ME LUCK... :)

WOW

I have not written in here in probably 3 or months.

Soo much has happened in my life in that time.

I had my whole soccer season, and it went better than anyone could have expected. I had soo much fun playing this year and I am sad it is over. I made new amazing friends, and reunited with old friends. Overall my life was going perfect!!

Then the last game came around and I tore my ACL in the first 5 minutes of the game. :(

And it started going downhill from there. I do not know where I am going to school next year, and I am slacking in school TERRIBLY. I am just going to scratch this semester off my mind and start fresh next semester. I can not wait for next semester. my life will be in order

cumulus "cue"

So my father could never remember the name tory. so Tory is now Cue. after the cloud Cumulus. He went to his first doctor appointment on tuesday and gained 4 pounds in 2 weeks. So he is now 12 big ones. He is very cute and clumsy! So that is the news on the new little guy in my life!

Tornado "Tory"

This is my baby boy

This is tory on his first ride home

he had a poo bear the owners gave him after they rubbed it down with his mommys scent.



On tuesday I got a new puppy. His name is Tornado. We will call him Tory though. My family has this thing where we name our dogs after weather themed things. We started out with Thunder( our saint bernard) then we had stormy, she was a mut. then we had snowball and he accidently hung himself on a fence :( We got Frosty after that. I grew up with him. He was 14 when he died. Ty, our chocolate lab we have now is 3. He is named after the Typhoon. So we cant change now. It would ruin everything. We got Tory on tuesday. He just turned 6 weeks. His birthday is june 2. He is a yellow lab just like Frosty was. He is soo adorable. He is also a great guy magnet. but Im not using my dog to pick up guys. well maybe I will try. haha

surgery

I have to have surgery on my knee on wednesday. I am a little scared but I am happy I finally know what is wrong with my knee. It has been bothering me for over a year now. It has been hurting in almost every game I have. So I went to a doctor a while back and he said it was cyst in the back of my knee getting aggravated and inflamed when I use it too much. That turned out to not be the case. I could have had this problem fixed a year ago if the doctor would have made the right diagnosis. But thats nothing I can fix now. I am going to be struggling to walk for the first few days. Then I will be able to go to rehab and start swimming on my own to keep in shape for soccer. I do not htink I will be able to run and practice the first 2 weeks of soccer but I will have to play it by feel. If it still hurts really bad then I am not going to push it. but if it isnt hurting that bad then I will hopefully be able to play to my full by atleast mid september. I am just a little scared because It is my first surgery. but at the same time, It is only arthroscopic. so they only have 3 little incisions that only take 3 stitches. so hopefully I will be able to recover pretty quick and be able to make my possible last season of soccer worth something.

311

wow 311 was a blast soo much fun but it was a trip and a half to get there. first I was running late cause I was at the pool with tristan. then I droped her off went home and got ready picked katie up and went to go get gas. I dont know what I was thinking cause I parked the wrong way. the gas tank was on the driver side and I parked it on the passenger side. so I called my parents 15 times litterally and they didnt answer. so Katie got the great idea to walk down to the fire station and the came up WITH THE FIRE TRUCK! the whole thing. it was sooooo embarrassing. so they broke into my car and of course im not going to get gas there cause thats just crazy. so we went to another gas station got gas and went on our way. we realize when we get there we lost a ticket. we went to the will call window and had to talk to someone and then we had to walk all the way bak out to the car and get katies credit card and id cause u had to have that. when we finally get back up there the guy tells us that all the tickets have been used already. so someone stole a ticket.... katie had to buy a new one for 30 dollars. so she ended up paying 50 dollars to see a band she only knows like 3 songs too. I felt bad for her so I am going to pay more money thats crap she has to pay for someone stealing a ticket from her. bur we finally get in and it was soo fun once we got there but it was crazyness trying to get in.

long time

I havent written in a long time. I have been sooo busy. I went on vacation to Hershey, Penn. right after I got done with my class and today is the first day I have off of work since I got back. I am working tons but that is okay cause I spent lots of money on vacation. but it was well worth it. I loved the vacation. I was a little worried becasue the last vacation I went on with my parents and aunt was a train wreck. It was not fun. But this one was way less stressful. and I loved it. I got back last sunday and started working right away. It was awesome at first but now I just need a break. I took tuesday off so I could go to the 311 concert and it was awesome! and now I have all day off and Im cooking dinner for my parents and its going to be fun!

anatomy

I got a D. I didnt pass and I am very mad at myself for it. I didnt even really try that hard. I just wasted a couple of hundred dollars on this class. I loved how it was only 4 weeks. I wish I could do accelerated classes for all my classes but meramec doesnt offer that. I am going to have to take it again but I am not taking it during soccer. I am going to wait till second semester. I am going to have a long wait to get into the nursing program at meramec or at forest park so I have time. I am going to take anp 1 second semester anp2 the following semester and then microbiology after that. that should be perfect with my schedule. I am just going to have to find classes to fill my time. cause I am done except for those 3 classes. that is all I need. then I just have the nursing classes to do. I am kind of mad at myself that I waited so long to apply. I could have applied first semester but I didnt know if I wanted to do nursing. I should have just got on the list.

I am planning on taking the dosage test when I get back from vacation and then apply as soon as I pass. I still have a long way to wait...

ANATOMY

Anatomy is currently kicking my butt. I am taking a four week accelerated class to try and do better than my D last semester. It is not looking so good. I have been soo busy with work and school and life at home I havent put the most effort I can into making sure I pass this class. I try to at least stay in contact with my friends, but its kind of hard when I have 3 tests a week. It is very stressful. I try to study as much as possible but when I have 4 hours of class a day I dont wnat to go home and study more. I am taking the class with my manager Anne. We both hate studying and are major procrastinators! so that is a great combo for this class.  I will see how good I do with more studying. It is stressful but I have to do well. After this class I am taking the dosage calculation test and applying for the nursing program when I get back from vacation. I have decided to at least get my associates in nursing to start. I will probably go back and get my bachelors once I start working more.  After a year of trying to decide what I want to do with my life It feels AMAZING to finally know what my future looks like. I am happy with my decision for now. I just cant stand to be in school for that long and if I went the special education route then I would be in school forever. So for me this is a good decision. 

frosty

frosty and dad together. they loved each other

me and frostys last picture together. christmas 08

begging for a treat out of the closet. we spoiled him

being a big brother when we first got ty

sniffing him to make sure he is good enough to be part of the family, 

frosty happily approved 

I had to put my best friend and dog to sleep on monday.  It was hard to do I didnt want to but It was his time. He was 14 years old this month.  I have grown up with Frosty. he was my dog since I could remember. He was loving and affectionate and just perfect. He would play whenever you wanted to and he knew when you were sick or wasnt feeling the happiest. He would just sit there next to you and let you cry or whatever. He was the perfect dog. He was more my dads dog though and Ty is mine. I have never seen my dad cry so much.  I dont know how he did it. I had to go to work when they put him down and it is a good thing. I could not have been there to see my dad and brother have to roll him over onto a blanket because he couldnt walk.  I would not be able to handle that. It was hard enough sitting on the kitchen floor with him for 2 hours crying my eyes out telling him goodbye for the last time. 

I told myself I wouldnt cry anymore. That I did the right thing by putting him to sleep. And here I am crying while writing this. I dont regret our families decision to put him down. He was suffering by keeping him alive. It was just hard to realize he wont be at the door waiting for you to get home anymore. He wont start barking and panting when its dinner time.

We still have TY, yet he is a little lost on what to do without his brother.  He has never lived in a house with only one dog. We have always had frosty. We are trying to do the best we can to make him feel better. but you can tell he is a little depressed and definiatly lost wthout his older brother around. we have to go outside and sit on the porch with him when he needs to go out. He doesnt like to be out there alone.  He stleeps with us now instead of in the kitchen alone. which helps both of us. I like having ty next to me, it brings me comfort and I know he likes it better knowing he still has us even tho his brother is gone. 

Frosty will always be missed and never forgotten. He was a great dog. 

my house

I get bery scared having friends over to my house because I am scared ppl will judge. there is nothing wrong with my house. its perfect in every way. I couldnt ask for anything different. but all of my friends live in bigger houses and dont have a train board in their basement. so I was always scared to have ppl over to my house. the only ppl that have really been to my house are tristan and lauren, one of my best friends sarah hasnt even been there. So needless to say, I was freaking out last night before ppl came over. I thought it was going to be like 6 or 7 ppl. a small group cause my house isnt built for tons of ppl.  so in the end alyson joe and tristan came over. I thought there would be more but it turned out to be fun.  It kind of made me realize the people I hang out with arent going to judge me. they are awesome ppl and dont care what the size of my house is. they are going to be friends with me for me.  ppl i hung out wiht before would never be that accepting. needless to say, I love the ppl i hang out with now. im just becoming closer to them and its just making me happy!

whats going on?

I was in such a wonderful mood lately. Nothing would bother me nothing would stress me out and now I feel like everything is just crashing down on me. NOTHING will go how it is planned. nothing is working out the way it should. I just feel miserable. I feel like giving up on life right now. I just feel like its not worth trying anymore. I dont want to take this summer class. I dont wnat to work anymore. I dont wnat to go to school. All I want to do is just do nothing. absolutely nothing. I dont know what to do with myself. I am in a rut and cant get myself out. Something is wrong but I dont know what. 

Everything in my life is going perfect! my friends are home, im playing soccer, im doing really good in school. I was so happy this morning like nothing could stop me. then one thing went wrong and now I dont know what to do with myself.  help

almost summer

Its almost summer! I am so excited! I am also excited that everyone is coming home! tristan and sarah are home! lauren comes home the same time I get out and so does sammy. Along with all of the other people! All I have left in this semester Is 3 finals and 2 papers. I have not started any of this and I have 2 finals and the paper on tuesday. I have all day tomorrow and all weekend to work on this stuff. I am going to be stressed but after that I am done with this semester. BUT of course after that I am not on summer break. I have my summer class. Anatomy in 3 weeks. I might fail. I have to do really well. I dont know if I want to take it anymore because I am seriously thinking of not doing nursing and doing special education instead. I think I have more of a passion for that. I want to help kids. I want to do something worth while. I could also do mental health nursing though. I could do that with my associates. I think I am going to get my associates in nursing and then I am going to go back to school while I am working as a nurse at night.  I just really wnat to be a teacher but I want to start working full time so i can get my own place and be able to afford it. So with my associates I can work full time and go back to school at webster or something to get my special education degree.  I think I have written this before but I just am really struggling with what I want to do with my life. I just have no idea what I want to do. I cant make a decision for my life. I jus wan to know what I want to do! I want to be able to decide. So I am going to get both I guess!

UGH STRESS!

soccer

I have played soccer since I could walk. I recently was thinking about quiting. my knees and ankles are really hurting when I play.  I have not played soccer since our last game. Which was in like november. I don know what I was thinking. I can not live without soccer in my life. Im played last night and I had SOO much fun. I dont know if I could survive not playing soccer. I had more fun last night than I have had in a long time. I loved it. I am going to play soccer at meramec next year and I have to find a place to go after that so I can keep playing. I could not think about going to school and not playing soccer. It is what motivates me. I LOVE SOCCER!

workaholic!

This weekend I worked myself to death.  I worked at the pool friday morning. I got up at 430 and left around 12. I wasnt suppose to work at soccer master until 4. So I was going to take a nap. My manager called me about 1230 asking me to come up and work from 1 to 8 instead of 4.  So I went. I worked a total of 14 hours on friday. then I went home for like 30 minutes and went over to laurens house and hung out and played pictionary all night! That was SO much fun. So eventually I left there. The next day I had to be at the tent in st. charles at 930.  And I stayed there till about 7. So I worked about 9 hours or so.  I went home and showered and ate some mashed potatoes and fell asleep eating them! and of course I had to wake up about 545 sunday morning to go to the tournament again.  I left my house at 620 in the morning. I got there about 645 and didnt leave till about 4. So I worked about 32 hours in 4 days. I crashed sunday night and just wanted to sleep for 2 days. But of course not. I had to work yesterday morning and then at 12 go to soccer master till 4.  So 11 hours yesterday. I have school till 330 today and I go strait to the pool for cleaning and inservice. Then tomorrow I am working again from 5 till 4. and then thursday I finally have a day off after school.  I dont have a day off where I dont have to do anything until sunday.. And I AM NOT DOING ANYTHING! I am going to catch up on sleep. I am also going to write the 3 papers I have due and the 3 finals I have left and The tons of homework I have. I can not wait till this is over. But of course as soon as this semester is over I have a 3 week course in anatomy I have to take. So my summer isnt going to be as long as everyone elses. but its okay I am getting things done. I am getting what I want to do done. I am happy with my hectic life right now I just have to make sure I am getting good grades and making sure I am getting the sleep I need! 

blahhh

today is a really shitty day. I just think I am overworking myself. I worked 14 hours yesterday. I have school for 7 hours today and then tomorrow I have to work 11 hours. I am taking 16 hours of school and I also have a lot going on right now. I am just going to have to sleep a lot this weekend. I have to get up early on saturday to go someplace with my mom. but sunday HOPEFULLY I can sleep in. I cant remember the last time I slept past 8am. I got this second job so I could help pay for school and save up so I can pay for school wherever I go next. i just am going to have to be stressed now while I get money. I also dont know what I am going to do this summer. I have to work out a set schedule so I can work at the pool and not have conflicts in the 2 jobs. I also will be out of town for 10 days. I hope I can get off both jobs. I know I dont have to worry about the pool I will just put it in my availability. I dont think I will have to worry about soccer master either. Doug the manager is pretty laid back. I think I just have to get past the last few weeks of school and life will get a lot less stressful and I can work enough and I can still have time to even think! 

I am just stressed. I only have like 7 more days of classes left. thank goodnes!!!!!

I feel bad

im writing in orange in honor of tristan..

i feel terrible about this but It has to be done.  I took my car friday to Mr. Moran  and he looked at my car. There was more damage than I thought. It is going to cost like 1000 dollars to fix.  Tristan said before that her insurance was about to cancel her because of all the stuff. this is her 3rd accident. I was just going to split the cost with her or something but I dont have that kind of money and neither does she. I thought it was going to be a lot cheeper than that. I really feel bad that I have to do this but I cant drive my car till its fixed. I have to drive my mom or dads car as much as I can. I dont know what else to do. Im stuck. I dont want to have to do this to my best friend but I dont know what else there is to do! 

soccer master

I GOT A NEW JOB!! 

I applied for soccer master on Thursday with Michelle Spencer. she already worked there and so she told me to apply.  and she applied to be a lifeguard this summer.  So we are basically going to work the same jobs. So I applied thursday and then I got a call from the manager on Friday and had my interview today.  I start working tomorrow! my interview was simple. He basically told me what the job was like and ask when I was available. So I have my first training day with Doug the manager tomorrow from 12 to 4 and then on thursday I am working with Michelle from 4 to 8. So from now on I am going to be working at the pool from 5am to 12 and then after that I am going to be working at soccer master anytime after that. And my weekends will be for soccer master. I am going to be working a lot but it is for sure worth it. 

ER

I have watched the show ER since it started. Last night was the last episode. I cant believe after so long that it is over. That is what I planned my thursday nights around. I had to watch ER. I did not watch it last night because my mom was working and we wanted to watch it together. So that is what I am doing on this friday night. I am having a bonding night with my mom and watching the last ER ever!! its crazy! But I love the show!

this is the last cast of ER ^

and this is the first cast... 14 years earlier.. 

yes i watched the show since i was 5! haha

friends!

I have never been so happy that my friends hugged before. For about a year now I have been torn between my 2 best friends. They both felt betrayed by each other. And I of course did not pick a side because I didn't want to lose them as a friend.  It was so difficult to do but I had to. I loved both of them. Its always said that time heals everything. I think that in this situation that was exactly what they needed.  I saw my friends hug and talk this weekend for the first time in a year. There was no drama. Seeing 2 of the most important people in my life (besides my family) talk again made my week. I have been waiting for this to happen for a long time and I cant even explain to people how happy I am!!!! hopefully this happiness continues. 

I am going through a GREAT time in my life because of the people i surround myself with. 

THANK ALL OF YOU!

:):):):):) 

HENDRIX

THIS WEEKEND WAS AMAZING!!!  I love going down to hendrix. It is such an awesome school. I love the atmosphere. I love the people. I love the partying. haha But the people were so much fun and they care about you too. I was really sick friday and all of them were making sure I was getting better and stuff. Yes my friends would do that here too but I barely know some of them and they treated me like i have known them since kindergarden. 

Friday We went to front street and I took a bunch of cold medicine before I drank. It was probably not the smartest thing to do.  I was really out of it. I didnt know what was going on around me. From there we went to martin for the Shamroast.  It was alright. but I think I was too out of it to have fun.  So we went back to the room and I decided to take some more medicine. Smart right? no. I took 2 more benadryl. Oh well. 

Saturday was sooo fun.  We went to front street again. We played drinking games and watched DUKE BEAT TEXAS! haha that was funny cause a lot of the people there were from texas. But thats another story.  I got really drunk over there and then we went to this place called the white house. Its just a house you can rent and there was a "naked party" going on. There were a lot of gay and lesbians.  Lots of thongs from both men and women.  And everyone had bra's with condom stuck in them haha. It was so much fun. Then we went to Martin again and had story time with some awesome people. over all it was a great weekend. I had fun and met awesome people once again. I meet GREAT people every time I go down there. I want to go there so bad but I dont know if I can. I am seriously thinking about it my junior year and senior year. If I do teaching. If not.. I will go down there all the time and just be a regular party goer on the weekends!! i LOVE HENDRIX!!!!

HENDRIX!!

I am finally here!! I got here wednesday night/thursday morning at about 345.  It was a rough train ride. I was right by the stairs and the bathroom was below me. It kind of smelled. haha but It wasnt bad. Then I started to get sick. I had a runny nose and I was having trouble breathing. I took my allergy medicine to see if that would help. It helped with my runny nose but I still couldnt breath very well. So i just sat there reading my book. I finally got here where sarah and tristan were there to pick me up. We had about a half hour drive to HENDRIX! We finally got in around 430 in the morning. I felt bad because they had 8am classes! but we just went to bed. The next morning I woke up really sick. I think its just my allergies thats making me sick. My throat felt so raw like I had swallowed a knife and it scratched my throat on the way down. I took some medicine and tried to sleep through it. It felt like my throat was closed up. But it finally got better. I am still kind of congested and my throat is still a little scratchy but its better now.  I am so excited for tonight because I am going to hang out with the girls soccer team and going to do a power hour. I may be getting intoxicated. But it all depends on how I feel. If my throat feels really bad I am just going to drink water instead. I am not going to be stupid about being sick. Yes It would be fun to drink but I am more concerned about getting more sick.  Then after the power hour there is a party at Martin. the guys party dorms. Its a Sham roast. IDK about all these names they come up with for themed parties. Its kind of funny. But Cj is here too! So its like a reunion  of all of us. ME and tristan and sarah and Cj.  I dont know what our plan is for saturday but Im sure whatever we do is going to be fun! I just love being down here with all these wonderful people. TRISTAN AND SARAH  of course. then others like tristans roommate EMILY and one of the nicest people ever KATIE GATES! I go home sunday which is okay cause I miss my dogs and my family already! but thats okay I will see them soon enough! oh and thanks emily for letting me use your computer!! haha 

LOVE YOU GUYS!!

car accidents

I have been in a total of 6 now car accidents. I was only driving in 3 of them but still that is a lot of accidents. 

1. I hit coles mailbox the first weekend I ever drove...SORRY

2. I rear ended some bitch, yes she was a bitch about it, on my way to get school pictures at orientation junior year. that pic was real attractive.

3 tristan sam and I were driving in kirkwood it was raining and tristans car was terrible. she rear ended someone.

4. I was again with tristan and sam, following lauren and tristan was not paying attention and hit lauren, she was stopped and we were going id say like 40ish maybe a little more little less. that one hurt real bad

5. I had just gotten my new car and was on my way to take my lab test.. an old lady with cancer didnt see me and T-boned me. my whole driver side was totaled. my car should have been totaled but thank goodness it wasnt and they fixed it. it cost total about 9000 dollars. more than the car is worth...

6. last night.. tristan and i were leaving to go to a certain someones house. and we were backing out of her driveway. all of a sudden..BooM! she backed into my car. the fender is bent and the light is kind of pushed in. its kind of out of line. but nothing too severe. 

I really dont mind all the accidents. i have never been hurt in one. and its only cars. i can get a new one of those. it just makes me a more safe driver cause i have been in so many accidents that could have turned out really bad. I love tristan even though everytime we are in a car something bad happens! haha 

I feel like ive been in 7 accidents but I cant remember another one so if i think of it i will add!

AND NOW I KNOW MY 7TH ACCIDENT!

well its really  not an accident.. Sophomore and I drove to school and I was in class when they paged me to the office. My car had been hit while it was in the parking lot. a guy came in late and went around a turn too fast and he slid into another car and then that car hit mine. It almost totaled the car. it didnt but the back was really messed up. and to top it off my parents were out of town so I had to deal with  it on my own.. I was a little young. It was my first accident!

SPRING BREAK!!

I got all my papers done!! i did a bunch while I was at work yesterday one this morning before I had class. I am done with my test and all I have to do now is sit in class for 3 hours waiting for it to be over so I can relax! I didnt really study for this test at all. I dont think I did that bad though. I took psychology before and that helps a lot knowing that I have had history in this stuff before. But I am just so ready for this day to be over. I am going to go up to soccer master and apply for a job with my friend michelle! I hope I can get that because that would be so much fun! THen I have soccer and then me and tristan might go out for her birthday. But Im not sure what we are doing. I also am excited because so many people are coming home this weekend! tristan and katie gates are going to be here! and then so is lauren and anthony! and just all of my friends are back so hopefully I get to see everyone! And then Wednesday I leave for ARKANSAS!! I am so excited to go down there! It is going to be a blast I think! But I will probably write tomorrow too when I find out if I got the head guard job or not!! wish me luck:)

babbling again! ha

So far my plan to not procrastinate has not worked at all!  I still have 3 papers to write and one more test to study for. I knew this was not going to happen. I am planning on writing one of my papers tonight and the other 2 at work tomorrow morning. I am there from 5am to 12.  So I think I can do it. I actually like writing papers there. It has so many less distractions there. I am so bored there I want to do something. It is a great place to do homework. I just have so much to do. I love writing my english papers there. Because It only takes me like an hour or so and that is how long my break is. I will write my english paper on some advertisement. I dont really know what I am suppose to be writing. So I will have to look at that tonight because I dont have internet at work! its kind of annoying! 

ON another subject kind of the same I am so scared about friday!! the managers are making their decisions on who is going to be head guard! I applied along with like 8 other people. I dont know if I will get it but I hope I will. I have experience because I work the morning shifts and I basically run the place. I will have to see what they say. I am only a 3rd year guard and most of the people that applied are 4th year! I still think I have a good chance! but I am just so nervous to find out! when all my stress of midterms is over, I will be extremely excited!! or not happy I still have a life guarding job.  Either way I will still love working in either position I get!

babbling about everything!

this week is a very stressful week! I just cant wait for it to be over and its just monday!! its midterm week. I only have 2 tests, but I have 3 papers to write still. I have till thursday but thats still not a lot of time to study for a test and write 3 papers. I have a schedule down but I dont know how well I will stick to it. I am not the best when it comes to time management. I LOVE to procrastinate. My scheadule is to do my sociology paper tonight so It can help me study for my test I have tomorrow. And then tomorrow after classes I am going to write my politics paper That leaves wednesday while I am at work at 5am I will write my english paper, and then when I get home I can study all night for my psychology test that I have on thursday! I kind of feel bad that I have so much to do this week because It is tristan's spring break and she is sitting at home. I wish I could hang out with her but I cant blow off all this school stuff I have to do. Her birthday is thursday.  So I will for sure hang out with her that night. But I dont know about any other time. I am done with everything on thursday. and hopefully I can spend time wiht her this weekend. but if not, I think she will understand. Also I am going down there to hendrix next week so I am pretty excited about that. All I have to do is get through this week and all my stress is lifted off my shoulders. MIDTERM SUCK!! but its only a little stress in my wonderful life! I can handle it!! 

HAPPY

This semester has been soo much better than last semester.  It is a world of difference from how I feel to Everything I do. I was depressed ALL of last semester. I didnt want to go out. I wanted to quit soccer, school and basically life. I was so lonely and I didnt want to do anything with my life. I almost blame all of that on the atmosphere I put myself in. I was being treated like crap so I thought I was worthless and treated myself like crap too. I was failing 3 of my 4 classes at one point, I was crying on my way to soccer because I wanted to quit so bad. It was just terrible. Herb was a bad decision. He was using me. I dont understand why I let it get so bad. If it werent for my friends making me realize how rude and just terrible he was treating me, I would still be stuck in that mess. I dont blame him, but I do. I was letting him get to me. I was letting him treat me like crap and walk all over me. I let him get away with it because he was all I had. I didnt want to make friends because I didnt have to. I had him. I realize how stupid that was. I realize NOW how much happier I am. I reconnected with my friends, realized what was wrong in my life. I just cant even tell you how much happier I am in my life with out him. Yes, there was a lot of other stuff going on in my life, Soccer was driving me crazy. I HATED the girls because Me and maybe 4 other girls cared about the team. But everytime I wanted to talk to Herb about it, he would shut me down. He just didnt care about me.  I owe all of my happiness right now to my MOM and my friends. They helped me through the depression and the hard times of digging myself out of that hole I put myself in. I cant express my thankfulness to those people. I LOVE YOU GUYS!!! 

colors and friends

Green i a my favorite color. I love how bright and amazing it is. I like the darker color or the bright lime green like this. All of them are pretty to me. I also like blue. This color blue is so pretty it reminds me of the ocean. and I love the ocean. I love beaches period. Cause I love warm weather I cant stand this cold weather I cant wait till summer starts so I can get tan, not be cold and start working way more and get more money! 

my third favorite color is orange! It is also Tristans favorite color! its so bright and vibrant and it is just awesome. It was so cool at prom, Tristan wore Orange and I was her date and wore Bright green! It was soo sweet. And when we met up with Sarah she was wearing a kind of blue silver and Lauren was wearing a Bright yellow! 

That is my next color in my favorites. Our pictures looked soo cool! I miss us four hanging out all the time but maybe this summer we can reunite! cause I miss all of you guys a lot! 

work

im a lifeguard! it is soo much fun. I love the people I work with. I love my managers and the other lifeguards. I think it really makes a difference when you work with people you like. If you don't get along with people you work with you are never going to want to go. And you are never going to get money. I love working the 5 am shifts not because it is good money, also because I love working with Kim and Allison. I don't know what i would do if I worked anywhere else. I know there are plenty of places with great people working, but I just think this one fits me. I love helping people. There are always so many kids. and children make me happy. I love working with them and there are tons of them that go swimming. Even in the winter! The summer is way better but it is still fun now. I love Kids like kindergarden or first grade. Thats why i want to be a teacher. but I also love helping people with problems, so I want to be a nurse. I think I am going to try and tie both of them together and be a special education teacher. I would LOVE to do that. My plan is to get my bachelors in elementary ed. then go on to get my masters and maybe my doctorate( in a while) in special education. I have always wanted to but didn't know if i could. Now working with children the little bit that I do and seeing how happy it makes me, I know I want to do it for the rest of my life. 

first blog:)

today is my first blog! a few of my friends have blogs and I didnt have anything to do tonight.. so I decided to make one!!

so today has been a stressful day! I had to get up this morning at 430 to go to work. I had to write my paper at work so I could have time to do a powerpoint presentation this afternoon. But when I got to school, my partner decided to be an hour late so I had to sit there doing nothing till he showed up! I was mad. But he got there and we got it all done, then we tested it (without saving it) and it decided to kick us off!! WE HAD NOTHING! so we sat there for another 2 hours redoing it.  And to top it off the only food I had from 430 this morning till about 330 this afternoon was a few runts and a bagel at 530. 

But hey! its all done and i can relax and catch up on sleep tonight!